International, 5 star, three day event competitions have suddenly made me realise something I didn’t know about people before I went today. Their look.
Yes, the way people look was crystallised into full focus for all to see today at the 2nd of the UK’s big 3 day International Horse Show events (Badminton being the first) for jolly good and honest, and, (let’s not deny it), talented horses. But horses, lest we not forget it, play a rather tiny and inconsequential second violin to the leaders of this extraordinary human orchestra, led by the never-aging, marvellously Burberry, Dubarry, and pink-corduroys-for men clad human beings who are collectively known as ‘The Haves’, who used to be from a place called the ‘nice bits’ of England, and still are. However, their nice saturday afternoons have been hijacked by ‘others‘.
Now the ‘haves‘ do not recognise the rest of the population in the way that the ‘have nots‘ recognise them; indeed, the have nots don’t even exist, not worthy of their focus they are so lofty in their position. Loud and assertive, the Range-Rovered inheritant-ees lord it seamlessly in their back yard, like sprawling packs of wildebeest on the South African velte. Sitting atop their magnificent vehicles gazing at their be-Barboured offspring and correct surroundings which befit their presence on their saturday ‘off’ from the city, they neither judge nor jape. They simply ‘look good’. And this is the point I’m making. The reason these people look good is because, in part, to do with breeding, in part, to do with money, and in part to do with luck. All the ‘grandmothers of 80 look 50, all the kids don’t care, but are sort of bored because being at ‘Burlers’ takes away from their time with Estoufade’, their spanish pony just bought for their birthday, and all the young guns have bought ‘Jonesy’ or some other delightfully named polo-shirt be-decked girl with a tan which didn’t start indoors and who actually really can afford the LUDICROUS fashion items which she wears. Which, although the rest of his don’t know it, actually are in fashion.
But the fact remains; we need the ‘haves’. Without them, we’d lose half of the comedy routines this country’s have-nots currently base their set lists on.